


Being a Ghost Sucks

by salty_sun



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: AU, Blood Gulch Chronicles, Blue Team Being Idiots, Church is a Ghost, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Pre-Season/Series 02, church is a ghost so yeah id say its an au, i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-10
Updated: 2019-02-10
Packaged: 2019-10-25 15:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17728148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/salty_sun/pseuds/salty_sun
Summary: “Dude, why is your fuckin’ hand in my body?” Tucker paused. “Bow chicka bow wow,” he added quickly.“I hate you so fucking much. I just want you to know that.”Tucker and Church try to have a date night.





	Being a Ghost Sucks

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sugarboy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarboy/gifts).



> hey!! i haven't posted anything in like six months im so sorry. im working on standing chapter 2 atm i swear
> 
> inspired by a prompt that one of my best friends gave to me, n its got their favorite character and a ship they like so i just decided to gift it to them! i hope yall enjoy, i had a rly fun time writing it!! 
> 
> Prompt: tucker x church date night except church is still a ghost so its hard to do 
> 
> disclaimer: i do not own red vs blue or its characters!

Church faded into existence at the ground floor of their base. He sat down on the cement floor, feeling his body almost pass through the floor. God, he hated being a ghost so fucking much.

Tucker walked out of the small kitchen in the base with his hands full of two spaghetti MREs that actually looked pretty good for shitty military food. He looked like he was about to drop everything at once. Church rose to his feet. 

“Here, Tucker, lemmie help you. You can’t carry all of that at once,” he said. Tucker handed the MREs to him, letting go of it when Church grabbed onto it. 

The trays immediately went right through Church’s hands and onto the ground. Sauce splattered across the floor.

Right. Church was a ghost.

“..Fuckberries,” Tucker said quietly.

“Shit, sorry, man,” Church said regretfully, glancing at their fallen food comrade.

“It’s chill. Let’s just get to the movie. We can make food later.” Tucker shrugged. He smiled at the thought of watching his favorite movie with one of his favorite people. It sounded stupid, but at this point, he was the stupidest motherfucker in the canyon.

“Lemmie guess. It’s gonna be fuckin’ Reservoir Dogs,” Church deadpanned. 

“Yeah! How’d you know, dude?” Tucker asked. Church sighed. 

“Because it’s _always _Reservoir Dogs. Every single fuckin’ time,” he answered.__

__“Quit your bitching, it’s the only movie we have.”_ _

__Church was so fucking fed up with that movie. But Tucker had a point. And, if it made him happy, he’d suck it up. For now._ _

__Tucker moved to set up the movie, setting the film into the projector. He seemed to tremble with excitement. God, he was so cute._ _

__Church set his hand on top of the other man’s. It instantly phased through. Shit, they couldn’t even hold hands?! Church began to think being a ghost was really homophobic._ _

__“What the fuck was that?” Tucker asked._ _

__“My hand.”_ _

__“Dude, why is your fuckin’ hand in my body?” Tucker paused. “Bow chicka bow wow,” he added quickly._ _

__“I hate you so fucking much. I just want you to know that.”_ _

__“Come on, dude. Just take it out of me. _Double_ bow chicka bow wow!” Tucker wore a shit-eating grin behind his helmet. _ _

__“You know, you are the worst kind of fucking person. You know that?”_ _

__“Shut up, you love me.”_ _

__“Not anymore, bitch.”_ _

__-_ _

__The credits were finally starting to roll. Church felt his soul and interest in life return to him._ _

__“Thank God. It’s fucking over.” Church stood up and started to walk away._ _

__“Hey, wait, Church, where’re you goin’? We still have to make dinner!” Tucker said. He glanced at the tray still laying on the floor sadly. One day, maybe someone would get rid of it, but for now, it would sit and wallow in its misery. And sauce. That too._ _

__“..Fine.” Church walked back. He spared another glance at the fallen spaghetti. So did Tucker. The aqua- or was it turquoise, who the fuck cared- soldier paused, deep in thought for a moment._ _

__“I think it’s safe to say he’s pasta-way,” Tucker said._ _

__“Fuck you.”_ _

__“It’ll cost a pretty penne to pay for the funeral-“_ _

__“Tucker, if you don’t shut the fuck up, I’ll have to make you.”_ _

__“Bow chicka bow wow,” Tucker interjected. Church inhaled deeply and started to quickly walk to his room._ _

__“Hey- Church! Come back!” Tucker called out, running after the ghost._ _

__-_ _

__After Tucker had convinced Church to come back and they ate together, they decided to just go to bed. They were both exhausted as hell, and the chaos from the night had made it ten times worse. They stood in the hallway connecting their bedrooms to the base. Their helmets had been pulled off a while ago, abandoned somewhere on the floor._ _

__“Night, Church,” Tucker whispered as to not wake up Caboose.. Neither of them wanted to wake him; if they did, no one would get any sleep for the entire night._ _

__“Goodnight, dumbass,” Church whispered back._ _

__“Shut up, you love me,”_ _

__“Well, you’re not wrong.” Church shrugged._ _

__“Dude, that’s gay.”_ _

__“Tucker, we’re the gayest people in this canyon-“_ _

__“Have you forgotten that Simmons and Grif exist, Church? I’m pretty sure those two are fucking _married_ and just haven’t told us yet. And Donut too, have you _seen_ that guy-“_ _

__“Okay, fine. Some of the gayest people. Happy now, asshole?” Church flipped off Tucker._ _

__The aqua-armored soldier laughed softly. “Yeah. I am.”_ _

__He leaned in and moved his hands to Church’s shoulders, and.._ _

__Landed flat on his face as he phased straight through Church’s body._ _

__“Fuck, ow!” Tucker cried out quietly in pain. Church stifled a laugh._ _

__“Jesus, Tucker, you okay?” he asked. Tucker nodded from his place on the floor._ _

__“Just hurt,” he mumbled. He stood up. “Okay, yeah, I definitely wanna go the fuck to sleep now,”_ _

__“Sorry, Tucker. I’ll try n’ find _somethin’_ to possess so you can actually.. you know. Touch me- don’t say it. Don’t you fucking dare, Tucker.” _ _

__“Bow chicka bow wow!” he blurted out quickly._ _

__“Hey Tucker?”_ _

__“Yeah, Church?”_ _

__“I love you, but go the fuck to sleep.”_ _

__And with that, Church walked into his room and slammed the door on Tucker._ _

**Author's Note:**

> ok yes hi!! i hope u liked it n if u did feel free to leave comments and kudos!! it motivates me to keep writing and it makes me go :DDDD


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